Gag gift - Maxi pad slippers

This is a fun gag gift you can make! Follow these free instructions, submitted by Twinrme1, and you can make slippers using maxi-pads.

Age Guideline: 16 Years and Up
Time Required: 30 minutes (Does not include drying time)
The above age and time guidelines are estimates. This project can be modified to suit other ages and may take more or less time depending on your circumstances.

Materials Needed:

4 Maxi-Pads
Items to Embellish
Cellophane Tape or Craft Glue

Instructions:
You need four maxi pads to make a pair of slippers. Two of them get laid out flat in front of you, for the sole of the foot. The other two wrap around the toe area to form the top of the slipper. Tape or glue each side of the top pieces to the bottom of the foot part.

Now you have a pair of slippers you can embellish. Decorate the tops with whatever you desire, charms, beads, silk flowers, etc.

You can attach a gift card to your slippers with these descriptions:

Slippers for the discrete woman.
Soft and hygienic.
Non-slip grip strips on the soles.
Built in deodorant feature to keep feet smelling fresh.
No more bending over to mop up spills.
Disposable, biodegradable, and environmentally safe.
Comes in 3 convenient sizes: Regular, Light day, and SUPER Absorbent.

Redneck briefcase - gag gift -- I want to make this...

Redneck Briefcase

I took a pair of men's briefs and sewed the legs shut. Attached elastic handles to the waist band with buttons. then i put the following into the "brief case":
nail=hillbilly toothpick
old car key=hillbilly ear wax remover
cut up newspaper strips the size of toilet paper=hillbilly toilet paper
a jar of beans=hillbilly bubble bath
matches and a jar=hillbilly lantern
belly button brush

I left the fly area open as this held pens and pencils really well, it will also hold a cell phone.

MORE ITEMS FOR THE BRIEFCASE:

Redneck Calculator (This could be added to the Briefcase) Add a pair of feet with all ten toes cut out of construction paper then folded like a card and inside the card all the toes numbered.
Redneck Telephones=two tin cans with string attached to both.
REDNECK CELL PHONE=one tin can with an antenna
REDNECK MICROWAVE=magnifying glass (uses the sun to cook)

Ruffle Tree Skirt - I want to make this. . .

I found the tutorial for this here at Prudent Baby -- It is SO cute.

1. Cut a 44" diameter circle from a large piece of felt, fleece, or wool. An old blanket would work well but you can also use a sheet in a pinch. To draw a circle, pin one end of a string to the center of the fabric and tie a marker to the other end (22" out.) With string stretched to the max, draw your circle.

2. Draw a straight line out from the center to the edge of the circle. Repeat 3 times at 90 degrees to make a "+"

3. Ignore that you can't see the "+". Mark 3" out on each line and draw a 3" radius (6" diameter) circle out from center.

4. Now draw a circle 7" out from center. Repeat 3 more times adding 4" to the circle each time. Your last section will be less than 4"

5. Cut up one of the lines and cut out the center circle.

6. Compose your fabric layout. I love the way different fabrics look in the rows but I think this would also look really nice in all one color, especially white. A sheet would be really cost effective! At the very least use inexpensive broadcloth with maybe an accent of designer fabric.

You want to end up with strips that are 6" tall when finished so if you are going to leave the edge raw or do a rolled hem, just cut them 6". If you are going to hem them, add seam allowance.

Your measurements may vary but for rough planning purposes, I used...

2 - 6"x42" strips for center
4 - 6"x42" strips for row 2
6 - 6"x42" strips for row 3
7 - 6"x42" strips for row 4
8 - 6"x42" strips for row 5

7. Along the top of each strip trim with pinking shears. This wont show on the finished piece.

8. And I finished the bottom of each strip with a rolled hem on the serger.

9. At the end of each row, I ran the hem out a few extra inches before cutting off. Like I said, if you aren't going to do a rolled hem, you can do a pinking shear edge or iron and sew a small seam.

10. Along the top edge, do a basting stitch about 1/4" in. If you pull the back thread on one end, your fabric will gather.

11. You will need to gather each strip down to between 16" & 18" depending on the row.

12. Lay them out, starting with outside circle and adjust ruffle width accordingly, leave a seam on the cut edge. When you have proper ruffle-ing, tie the thread on both sides so your ruffles stay put.

There are more steps, but I just put the majority here incase that blog disappears.

Dandelion Jelly

Dandelion Jelly

2 heaping cups dandelion petals (it takes about 4 cups whole flower heads)
I cut only the yellow part off with scissors
2 c. boiling water
1/4 cup well strained fresh lemon juice
4 cups sugar
3 oz liquid Certo pectin (no substitutions)
A couple drops yellow food coloring, if desired
Pour boiling water over petals in a quart jar, cover and let sit for at least an hour..but no more than 24 hours (refridgerate it if you are going longer than an hour(after straining this will be your infusion)Sterilize jars (I use 4 oz or 1/2 pint jars) and keep hot until ready to fill, get lids in hot water and rings ready too.

To make jelly: stir lemon juice and sugar into infusion in a 3 quart pan. Bring to a full rolling boil that cannot be stirred down. Add liquid certo and continue to boil for two minutes (exactly).This is when to add food coloring if you use it. Skim any foam from top with metal spoon.Ladle quickly into hot jars to 1/8" from top. Clean each rim with hot wet clean cloth and put on lid as each is filled. Water bath can for 10 min.makes 4 or 5 1/2 pint jars...or 8 or 9 of the 4 oz jars.

If you can't gather enough for a whole batch at once you can freeze the cut petals in a baggie until you have a full 2 cups of petals..adding new ones each day.

Dandelion Jelly

Dandelion Jelly

1 qt. Dandelion blossoms
2 qts. rain water
2 Tbl. Fresh lemon juice
1 3/4 oz. Powdered fruit pectin
5 1/2 C. Sugar

Pick bright, fresh dandelion blossoms and pack the quart container pretty tightly. Rinse quickly in cold water to remove any insects/dirt on the petals. Don’t leave to soak in the water.
Snip off the stem and green collar under each blossom, save only the yellow petals.
In an enamel saucepan, boil petals in water 4 minutes, until the water takes on their color. Pour mixture into cheese cloth and drain well. Press out all liquid. Measure 3 cups of liquid. Add the lemon juice and fruit pectin. Stir.

Bring to a boil, using a large kettle. Add the sugar, stirring to mix well. Continue stirring and boil the mixture for 2 ½ minutes. Pour into hot sterilized jelly jars and seal. Process for five minutes in a boiling water bath.

Pick fully open blossoms after morning dew has dried.

Here is another blog that has step by step instructions of how she did it.

Po Boy Filet

I tried a new recipe that I got from my care pastor - he's a REALLY good cook. Here's the recipe: Mix 1 lb. of ground beef with 1/4 tsp salt and 1/4 tsp of lemon pepper. Flatten this out to 1/4 " which should give you a 12x7 sheet of meat. Chop a 4 oz can of mushrooms, 2 tblsp onion, 2 tblsp green peppers, 3 tblsp green olives spread this mixture onto the meat. Roll it up and slice. Wrap each slice in bacon and fry.






The only thing I would add that you really need is toothpicks - I was out and I didn't have a way to hold the bacon in place.

January in the garden

We've had some nice days in January and it has given me garden fever - B-I-G time. I'm so ready to plant something - but I know we're in for more cold - so I'm holding off. I did go to the local greenhouse though and I got my onions and potatoes. I'm going to plant my potatoes in my tires and stack them - you plant the potato and then when the plant gets about 8" you put a tire on top of the bottom tire and put more soil around the plant and just leave the top 2" of the potato plant sticking up and then let it grow again and do the same thing again. I got the idea from here .

I'm storing my onions in the shop on a bed of damp soil where it's still nice and cold - I didn't even take them out of the bundle -- it's still too cold and way to wet to plant them yet. I don't want them wet, just a little damp - I'll probably spritz them with a spray bottle every now and again.

I'm storing the potatoes here in the house, I haven't cut them yet, but it won't matter if they're here in the warm house and sprout - hopefully it will dry out and warm up just enough to plant the potatoes and onions soon.

Tire Garden

Last year I did my garden in tires. I know, I know it sounds retarded ;- ). However, it worked wonderful and I am so doing it again this year and even expanding. I use old tires - what's an old tire you ask? Well, I get my tires from my neighbor who owns a trucking business so an old tire for me is one that has been driven for too many miles to be safe. If you're wondering about something leaching out of the tire, there have been studies done at colleges and garden centers and nothing leached in to the soil (again, when you used old tires). I did it for a few reasons - the main one being, bermuda grass is EVIL, and I mean EVIL, LOL. I could not keep up with the bermuda in the garden and I wanted to do raised bed gardens - but it was going to be pretty expensive the first year to get everything - then I thought, what could I use for free - maybe recycle something - then I thought, I have a couple of tires down in the creek bed - and so there you have it - that's how the tire garden came about. You can find free tires just about in any town, before my neighbor offered his old tires I had called a tire center and they told me they had all the free tires I wanted. Here's some pics of the tire garden.

Starting a new garden. . . things to do

If you want to start a new garden,

Do the soil jar test to determine your soil's composition in terms of how much of it is clay/sand/silt. That will help you know if it needs something added to it to improve its tilth.

You don't need to add peat because peat is "dead" and all it does is improve drainage.

Add compost because it is biologically alive. You can add manure, but the manure should be composted before it is tilled into the soil because composting at the right temperatures will kill bacteria (like E. coli) that's in the manure which is very important. Composting manure also should kill weed seeds which means less weeds to worry about during the growing season.

Also, you can almost never go wrong with adding any sort of organic matter like compost, manure, chopped-up or shredded leaves, grass clippings, etc. to the soil. In our climate it is hard to have too much organic matter because the summer heat causes all organic matter to break down pretty quickly. A common gardener's catch phrase that sums up that process is this: "Heat eats compost."


Most of the information that will be in the "garden" posts are from different books, blogs or forums that I read that I think will help "ME" in my garden - it is not "professional" advice just more or less notes that I would like compiled in one spot.